Demons
by Starlight Soul
Summary: Everyone has demons from the past but can we survive fighting them? Set in an***** alternate universe***** (I just want to make sure everyone has seen this). Please R&R.
1. Default Chapter

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Demons

Relina walked quietly through the park near her mansion. Her usually happy face was drawn and her blue eyes were sad. It was a beautiful fall afternoon and the sun shined down on her soft hair but she didn't notice the beauty of the day. As hard as she tried she couldn't find anything to be happy about. Heero was gone and as hard as she tried she couldn't find him. All the money in the world and she couldn't find him. She was horribly unhappy and alone. As she walked, she drew near a lake. At the shore there was a long pier that stretched its long finger out as though it were beckoning her. She walked out to the end of the pier and the wind blew her school uniform about her as silent tears slid slowly down her cheeks. 

" Heero Where are you?" She yelled to the water," The war is over and you don't need to hide anymore so where have you gone. It would be better if you had killed me, Heero, then I wouldn't have to be alone."

" If I had killed you there wouldn't be any peace." Said Heero from behind her.

Relina wiped around to face him while trying to wipe away her tears," How long have you been there?"

" Since you slipped you bodyguards in the maze." Said Heero looking at her curiously. He took off his jacket," You're shivering."

" Where have you been Heero?" she asked gladly accepting his jacket.

" Around, Why were you crying?"

" I've lost everything Heero." Said Relina softly," I've lost everything that really maters to me. My family is all gone, It would have been better if you had killed me."

" If I had killed you I don't think that there would be peace today." Replied Heero.

" You are right." Said Relina softly," I have to go home now."

" I'll see you soon Relina." Said Heero softly as she walked away from him.

Heero Followed Relina out of the park until she was reunited with her useless bodyguards who ushered her into a car that would take her back to her school. Heero was troubled by what he had seen in Relina's eyes. He understood now why Quatra was so worried about her. The more Heero thought about it the more the more he worried about her. Heero wandered the city for the rest of the day as he had done everyday since the war ended. He thought back to when He tried to kill her, when he couldn't kill her. _I Love You Relina now if I could only tell you._ Thought Heero as he passed a small restaurant. Still lost in thought he went inside and got something to eat._ I can't believe that it's only been a month since the war ended. What has happened to change Relina so much? She was so unhappy today._ Heero finished his chicken sandwich and got up. Once on the street he started walking towards Relina's mansion, determination in his eyes.

When Heero reached Relina's mansion he saw her security slacking off and easily slipped onto the grounds. It was at that time that he saw Quatra sitting on a bench reading a book, as though he expected Heero to appear. It didn't surprise him though, to see Quatra waiting for him. Next to the blonde boy was a bag, which held a school uniform and key card for Heero.

" I was wondering when you would get here." Said Quatra handing him the bag," Relina's locked herself away. I don't know why but she wouldn't see me. I'm worried about her Heero. Ever since Pagan died she's become more and more depressed. You can't avoid her anymore Heero she needs to know the truth."

" I know." Said Heero changing into the uniform Quatra brought him." How did you know I would need this?" 

" I knew you would come back." Said Quatra," It'll be easier to get to her through the house. You'll have to jump from balcony to balcony to get to her room."

" Security isn't very good around here." Commented Heero.

" I know," said Quatra leading Heero towards the house," Trowa and I try to stay close to her. There have been two attempts on her life that this company has missed. Trowa and I have been keeping track of her."

" Thank you My friend." Said Heero as they entered the huge house.

" So Heero where have you been?" asked Trowa as the two pilots entered the house.

" Around, I couldn't get back here for a while," Replied Heero softly," but I'm here now."

Up stairs Relina sat on the floor of her room. She looked at all of the things that lined the shelves and found that they meant nothing to her anymore. Across the room she had candles and pictures on her dresser. It was a shrine to all of the people that she had lost, the center of which was her family. Relina was lost in her grief and it was slowly killing her. She didn't even know why she had sent Quatra away when he came to see her. She pulled a black box out from under her bed and opened it to look at the assortment of things that she kept there. Anyone else that had seen what was in the box would have been frightened for her but she had been careful enough to keep people unaware. Relina reached in and picked up a bottle of her father's pills with trembling hands. Afterwards she took out a knife and set them in front of her. Grabbing her brush she brushed her hair until it was silky and she went to the bathroom and got a glass of water. She set it on the floor next to the box and went over to her CD Player and put in her Savage garden Affirmation CD and hit play. When she sat back down she started counting out pills on the floor.

Across the house Heero, Trowa, and Quatra ran up to Quatra's room. Once there they went out on the balcony. Quatra pointed out the balcony that would let Heero into Relina's room. Quatra urged Heero to hurry as Heero climbed over the edge and made his way over towards Relina's balcony by jumping the three or four feet between them. It took him nearly fifteen minutes to get over four of the five balconies. At the last balcony he jumped and nearly fell but somehow managed to hold on. Quatra and Trowa watched Heero and hoped that he could get through to Relina. Neither of them knew how serious the situation was getting but Heero was beginning to guess. As soon as he learned that she had locked herself in her room he had gained an inkling of what she was going to do. When he finally reached her window he saw her sitting on the floor with a box blocking his view of what she was doing until she lifted several pills and to her mouth. As he stealthily moved into the room he caught the glint of candlelight off the knife lying by her hand.

" Relina…" He said startling her so that she dropped the pills in her hand.

She was crying," Leave me alone Heero, I want to die now." She said trying to pick up the pills she dropped but her hands were shaking too much.

Heero moved in quickly and brushed the pills out of her reach before tossing the knife out on the balcony. Quatra and Trowa immediately took note of the knife and reality sank in. Relina turned on Heero when she realized what he had done.

" Why won't you let me die Heero?" shrieked Relina pounding her fists on his chest," Why can't I die in peace, there's nothing left for me here. Why did they have to die and leave me all alone." 

Heero wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed crying in his arms," They didn't leave on purpose." He said trying to still her trembling," I'm sorry that you were alone, but you're not alone anymore My love."

" I don't want to live anymore Heero. Why won't you let me die, You couldn't kill me and you couldn't love me so why can't you let me die?" she cried struggling to get out of his reach.

Heero held on tight enough that she couldn't get away but he wouldn't be hurting her," Relina I couldn't kill you because I love you." He admitted as much to himself as to her.

Relina looked up at him with red eyes," Really, then why did you have to leave me?"

" To protect you." He replied," I had lose ends to tie up." 

" It hurts so much Heero," said Relina," I've given all my heart can give and it's killing me Heero. I can't live like this any longer." She sobbed into his shoulder. 

Heero held Relina while she cried and felt the first stirring of his heart breaking for her," Relina, My Love, I'll give all my heart can give to you if you'll let me." He said stroking her hair.

" Thank you Heero." She said as exhaustion over took her and she started to fall asleep in his arms.

When Heero looked at the bottle of pills he started shaking her awake again," Relina, how many of these pills did you take?"

" I don't know." She replied as Quatra and Trowa started pounding on the door. 

Heero got up and unlocked it quickly before running back to Relina and trying to keep her awake," Stay with me Relina." He begged her.

When Quatra and Trowa came in the door hit the CD player causing it to skip and it started playing Crash and Burn. While Heero tried to keep Relina conscious Trowa picked up the spilled bottle of pills Quatra picked up the ones that were all over the floor while Trowa called a friend to help them. It was quickly decided that they would keep her attempted suicide quiet and out of the media to protect Relina. Fifteen minutes later Lady Noine and Kathryn showed up to help them take care of Relina. No body noticed the box that had been sitting next to Relina until Kathryn nearly tripped over it. The box was filled with letters addressed to several different people, the top of which was addressed to Heero. Impulsively he picked it up and began to read it.

Heero Yui,

I don't know if you will get this letter but if you do I'm probably dead. I've tried to go on but I have lost everything important to me, including you it seems. I've searched and found everyone except you. I know that Quatra and Trowa know how to find you but they seem reluctant to do so. Why didn't you kill me Heero? You had so many opportunities all you would have had to do was leave. Everyone's gone Heero. Mother, Father, Pagan, even Alyardo they're all gone. They went away and left me alone. Even you left me alone now. I Love You Heero Yui.

Relina Peacekraft

Heero held Relina tighter in his grip when he was done reading the letter. He didn't know that she loved him but he had been prepared to protect her weather she loved him or not. Heero held Relina while Lady Noine made her drink something to rid her of the sleeping pills. He held her and spoke softly to her while her stomach emptied out. No one was surprised to see Heero taking care of Relina, they all knew that he loved her. They had known from the beginning, even her brother knew. When she was done Heero cleaned her up and put her in bed.


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer- If they're not mine I don't own them, If they're mine, they belong to me. The only thing I own in this fic is the time put into so :P

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Demons

Chapter Two

The next morning when Relina woke up she found Heero sleeping in a chair next to her bed. When she moved her head hurt causing her to groan in pain. Relina's movement woke Heero and he watched as she tried to get up but only grabbed her head and lay back down.

" Does your head hurt?" asked Heero startling her.

" Yes," she answered softly," Heero, thank you."

" I am sorry that I left you alone." Said Heero moving to sit on the bed," Why though?"

Relina looked at her lap and let her hair cover her face," I thought I knew but after last night I'm not so sure." She replied softly," I've felt so alone. I thought that I had lost everyone that had ever meant anything to me. There was no one left that cared." Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks," I miss my family so much that I decided that it would be better if I joined them."

Heero brushed her hair behind her ear and lifted her chin. He brushed her tears away with his thumb and spoke softly," You're not alone Relina and no matter what I'll always care. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. Last night you said that you have given all your heart can give, then stop giving. The world can get along without you for a while. They've put you through hell and you've stayed strong for them. The world will understand. Lady Noine has prepared to announce that you are going to be away for a while. Wu-Fei, Quatra, and Trowa are going to take care of the school for you. It's time for you to take a break. We are going to go off to Wu-Fei's cabin in the mountains."

" Okay." She consented softly.

A soft knock on the door startled Relina until it opened to reveal Lady Noine," How are you feeling today Relina?"

" Better I guess." She replied," Thank you for coming to help me."

" I think I understand more than most." Said Lady Noine lifting her sleeve and showing Relina the bandage there," Trowa found me."

" I wonder how many of us are going to crash and burn before someone succeeds."

" Dorothy did." Said Lady Noine softly," So, Heero, have you asked her about the plan we came up with last night?"

" Yes and she agreed." He replied," I'm going to help her pack and we'll be leaving either tonight or tomorrow morning."

" I have to cancel all of my meetings and stuff." Said Relina.

" Already taken care of." Said Lady Noine," Kathryn and I cleared it. Anything that we couldn't cancel I'll go in your place."

" Are you sure?" asked Relina," I don't want to burden you."

" Don't worry about Me. Trowa is staying with me. Don't worry they did this to me too. Give these guys some time and they'll have everything fixed around here in no time." Said Noine.

" May I come in?" asked Quatra from the door.

" Come on." Said Relina" Have what fixed?"

" Your security for one." Said Quatra," Those guys you hired are lazy good for nothings. They haven't even questioned the arrival of Lady Noine and Kathryn."

" I know and it's the third security agency that I've had in here." Said Relina with a sigh," There's been one nearly successful attack on me and one on one of the students."

" Actually two attempts on you." Said Quatra," Trowa and I intercepted the assassin."

Relina paled," I didn't know about the second one. I guess I better find a new agency."

" Here, try this." Said Heero writing a number down and handing it to Lady Noine," You remember Duo and Hildie, they started a company. Tell them I sent you and that it's Relina's school. They're the best there is."

" You Gundam pilots are the best there is at a lot of things." Said Kathryn coming in with a tray and food," Are you hungry Relina?"

" A little." Admitted Relina.

" How about you Heero?" asked Kathryn. 

" Yeah, sure." He said.

" Why don't you take this to the sitting room and I'll join you in a moment. I'd like to get dressed."

" Alright." Said Heero," Oh, I'm sorry Relina but we've removed all the pills and sharp objects. It's for your own good."

" I understand." She said hanging her head.

" Don't feel bad Relina they did the same thing to me." Said Lady Noine softly. 

" We'll see you in a few minutes." Said Heero pushing everybody out before sitting down facing the wall.

" Aren't you going with them?" She asked Horrified.

" Nope." He replied still facing the wall," Don't worry I promise I won't peak."

Relina fumed but quickly changed into normal clothes while muttering under her breath and thinking to herself,_ Oh God I've gotta spend the next month with him._ When she was done changing she tapped him on the shoulder and they went into the sitting room. Every one was waiting for them in the sitting room. When she realized how many people came to help her she blushed and looked down at her feet.

" Good morning Relina." Said Trowa finally seeing her. He was interrupted by a knock on the door.

" Come in." said Relina.

" Good morning Miss." Said the Security Guard that entered the room," I was sent to verify the break in our contract."

" Yes," said Relina," I'm not pleased by the performance of your employees. They are lazy and I would not like anything to happen to any of my students."

" Yes Ma'am," Said the guard," Do you want anyone to stay until you find a new agency?"

" That won't be necessary." Replied Relina," I have a new company already."

" Yes Ma'am but who will protect you until that company gets here."

" We're already here." Said Duo walking in with his arm around Hildie.

" Duo," said Lady Noine," That was fast. Where did you come from?"

" We only live about a mile from here." Said Hildie," You caught us on the way to the new shop."

" Man, Relina, your security sucks big time." Said Duo," I'm surprised that there haven't been any attacks."

" There have been." Said Trowa," Quatra and I caught them."

" Well, I'm going to set things up right." Said Duo," What do you say Hildie."

" Let's do it." Replied Hildie.

" Noine said that you're gonna be gone for a few weeks." Said Duo giving Relina a knowing look," We'll have all your security problems fixed before you get back."

" Thank you." Said Relina," Trowa, Quatra, will you help Duo keep security in the school. The two of you know this place as well as I do now and Lady Noine knows it pretty well but there have been some changes."

" No problem." Replied Trowa.

" There's no reason why not." Said Quatra.

" Thanks guys," said Relina softly. She didn't realize how many people had come to her aid," Heero, what will I need to take with me?"

" The mountains are kind of cold this time of year so you'll want some warm clothes and a good jacket." Said Heero," We're going to have to go out so that I can get some more clothes."

" Well, I need to get out for warm clothes too." Said Relina looking forward to a shopping spree.

" Finish eating," said Heero watching Relina push her food around on her plate," We'll go after breakfast and if you don't mind have lunch out."

" Okay," said Relina pushing her eggs around some more. 

" Hey Quatra, Trowa why don't you show us the security around this place." 

" I'm just going to use the bathroom really quick." Said Heero following them out and leaving Lady Noine with Relina. Once outside Heero turned to them," What's up guys?" asked Heero.

" She's lost a lot of weight." Said Hildie," What's up I noticed the plastic silverware and don't think that I didn't see Lady Noine's arms."

" Relina hasn't been eating a lot." Said Quatra," I've noticed little things but I never expected her to try to commit suicide."

" That's why I'm taking her away for a while." Said Heero," She's been pushed too far. She feels alone. She lost everyone that was close to her in the war."

" She really did." Said Hildie.

" Take care of her Heero." Said Duo.

" You better get back." Said Trowa," Noine is joining us after you get back."

" You're not leaving her alone either." Said Heero.

" No." answered Trowa," She's still kind of depressed. I'm afraid that she might try again."

" Alright I'll remember what you said about her eating." Said Heero turning," Thanks for calling me guys."

" No problem, We know how you feel about her." Said Quatra.

Heero quickly went back to the sitting with Relina and Lady Noine excused herself to catch up with Trowa who was waiting outside for her. They sat in silence with Relina picking at her breakfast. Heero studied her for several long minutes and noticed, for the first time, how much weight she had lost. Her blue dress seemed to fit but he could see that she had lost weight. Relina knew that Heero was studying her and felt a little self-conscious about his intent gaze.

" Aren't you hungry?" asked Heero suddenly making her jump.

" Not really." Admitted Relina setting down her fork and looking at him with the same intent gaze that he used when looking at her.

" Do you want to go out shopping then." Asked Heero. He wasn't sure how to deal with everything that had happened.

" Yeah, I just need to grab my coat." Said Relina.

__

Relina, My Love, what have you done to yourself? Heero asked himself as he watched her walk across the room. He followed her into her room and watched as she put on a pair of boots and grabbed her coat from a hook by her door. He picked his coat up from the chair that he dropped it on. When he looked up from his coat Relina was looking at him with sad eyes. When she noticed him looking at her she quickly looked away. _Heero, why can't you love me? _She asked herself. Relina followed Heero out to his car and they rode in silence to the mall.

Once at the mall Relina led Heero into a large store filled with clothes. He watched her contentedly as she chose several sweaters in pale blues and purples. She was looking at a bunch of jackets when he noticed a pale green sweater. He picked it up and looked at the tag and found that it was the right size and took it over to Relina. Blushing he tapped on her shoulder.

" This would be a pretty color on you." Said Heero blushing.

__

He thinks it would be pretty," Thank you." She said realizing that it was the right size," I like the color. I'm nearly done here, where do you want to go."

" I really don't know." Admitted Heero.

" I know where to take you." Said Relina paying for the clothes. 

Relina led him out of the mall and he packed her bags in the trunk of his car before she directed him to go to a nearby department store. Relina Went inside with Heero only because he insisted that she go with him. Relina was mad, no one had ever told her what to do before but she couldn't seem to stay mad. Heero noticed that Relina was mad but it was the best emotion she had shown since he saw her at the pier. Her self-pity was getting to be too much and it was killing her just as much as over working. After they got into the store Relina stayed mad for a while but soon got over it and started watching him go through the clothes and pick out a bunch of sweaters and sweatshirts. When he had six or seven good outfits he moved into the jackets and chose a lightweight, yet efficient, jacket. After he paid for all of his new things they went back to the car.

" I'm sorry I'm acting so childish." Said Relina softly, she was embarrassed by her behavior.

" Don't worry about it." Replied Heero," We're going to leave at four today." 

" Alright," she replied as they pulled up to a small restaurant," I'll have all of my things packed by three."

" It's about one now so we should eat and go home." Said Heero.

" If you don't mind I'm really not that hungry." 

Heero looked at Relina for a moment and his eyes seemed cold and hard to her but Heero was worried," You really should eat but if you're not hungry we can go home."

Heero studied Relina out of the corner of his eye all the way home. The more time he spent with her the more worried he became. Relina wasn't the same young woman that brought peace to Earth and the colonies. She had lost that sparkle that he loved so much and he knew that it was still there but it was dying in the rain. For the first time he was afraid that he would lose her before he could tell her the truth. The truth was that he was in love with her and he had been since he first saw her. Even when he told her that he would kill her, he knew that he couldn't. Now she was in trouble and he knew it. He knew it more than anyone did, his suicide missions had never been successful in the way he wanted but now he was past that. The key had been finding a reason to live. Heero could only hope that it wasn't too late to get through to Relina. 

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Authors note- For all of you who didn't realized from the summary this is an AUTHOR UNIVERSE. If you don't like it don't read. Damon, thanks for pointing out the Milyardo/Alyardo thing. My Beta-Reader and I have been arguing over it for a long time ( *Waves and blows a kiss at Heart of Darkness* Hi Honey). BTW if you're going to try and insult someone Moron isn't a very good way to do it. You have to get creative! I mean come on, my Developmentally Disabled kids can come up with a whole hell of a lot better ( I bet you've never been called an Ass Jacket ~_^ )


	3. Demons chapter three

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Disclaimer- I don't own them nor do I claim to. I'm a poor college student, don't sue me.

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Demons 

Chapter three

When they got back to Relina's mansion they immediately went up and packed for their trip. Neither of them seemed to have anything to say so the silence lay like fog. Relina packed everything that she knew she would need plus anything extra that she could think of. The first thing that went into her bag though was her Savage Garden CD's. Somehow their music seemed to make her feel a little better. Heero watched as she packed the CD's and made a note to ask Quatra about the group before they left. At around Three thirty everyone gathered at the doors to say goodbye to Heero and Relina. While Relina was busy saying goodbye and leaving last minute instructions Heero pulled Quatra aside and talked to him about the band.

" Quatra, what can you tell me about the band called Savage Garden?" asked Heero.

" It's a good group, they have a lot of good messages. Relina really likes them and she has all of their CD's. That's what was on last night when she tried to commit suicide."

" Thanks Quatra." Said Heero finally making the connection.

" Heero," said Trowa," go easy on her. She's not used to taking orders and she's fairly hard headed when it comes down to it."

" I'll remember that." Said Heero as Relina finished her good byes.

Trowa and Quatra watched as Heero loaded their luggage in the trunk and they got in the car to drive away," Good Luck guys." Said Quatra softly.

" There go the two most hard headed people in the world." Said Noine." Heero is going to have his hands full with her." 

" He'll love every minute of it though." Commented Quatra," He seems to love a challenge almost as much as he loves her."

" Trust me," said Noine," Relina will be more than a challenge for him."

~*~

" Do you mind if I put a CD in?" asked Relina when Heero got in the car.

Heero noticed the blue Savage Garden CD," Go ahead." Said Heero," It'll only be a few minutes until we reach the air strip though."

" That's okay." Said Relina softly," I just want to listen to one song for now."

Heero listened to the song she put on wondered about the group. At first the song she put on seemed to be encouraging suicide but then it took a drastic change and started telling her that time would help. He believed Quatra now that the music was probably good for her. As he listened he realized that he could get to like the group. When they pulled up to the airstrip he parked and took out their bags, placing them on a cart. He led Relina to a small plane that would take them to an airstrip about an hour from the cabin where they would be staying.

" Hi Guys," said Sally when they got to the plane," Wu-Fei and I will be ready to go in about five minutes."

" But I though that they were helping Noine and the others at the school." Protested Relina.

" They are." Said Heero," after they take us to the mountains."

" Okay," said Relina slightly stunned," How long will it take to reach the mountains?"

" About an hour." Replied Heero.

Relina crossed her arms over her chest and walked up the ramp to board the plane. On the plane she took a seat and immediately put her headphones on to ignore him. Heero found that he had hit a brick wall when he saw the headphone so he just sat down and looked out the window. They sat in silence with Relina listen to her headphones for nearly half and hour when Sally came through carrying drinks for them. She had just reached Relina with her cup when the plane experienced some turbulence and the pop spilled on her portable CD player.

" Oh no!" cried Relina.

" I'm so sorry." Said Sally using napkins to help clean up the pop.

" I'll get some more napkins." Said Heero getting up and going into the center station. 

On his way back Sally passed him," You owe me one."

" Thanks." Replied Heero going back to sit down," Here you go Relina." He said helping her clean up her tray table and CD player. When the tray table was cleaned off He put it up and gave her the rest of the napkins so that she could clean up the pop that spilled in her lap.

" I wonder what caused so much turbulence back there?" said Relina putting the napkins into a bag that Sally brought her.

" I'm so sorry Relina," said Sally," If you want I can put your CD on the speaker."

" Thank you." Said Relina handing her the CD," Don't worry about the CD player."

For the rest of the flight Relina sat and listened to her music without making a sound. Heero was thankful that Sally had messed up her CD player and as usual guilt never even crossed his mind. He knew that Relina was upset but he would buy her a new one when they went home. Relina was upset at first but when she realized what she had brought it for she felt slightly guilty about bringing it along, it wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with Heero but she didn't like the way he went about it. By the time that the plane was ready to land Relina had fallen asleep and Heero buckled her in without waking her because she seemed to be exhausted. Sally came and sat next to him while the plane landed.

" Don't let her sleep more than usual." Said Sally," She is depressed and a lot of depressed people will try to escape through sleep or food. Watch for the S.A.N.E symptoms. S sleeping a lot or not at all. A appetite eating a lot or not at all. N no fun doesn't seem to get enjoyment from anything. E experiences find out what is causing the depression."

" Thanks Sally." Said Heero looking at Relina's sleeping form," I'd say she fits the first two but I don't know about the last ones. I'm not quite sure how to handle this."

" What aren't you sure about Heero?" she asked.

" How to deal with her at all. I don't think she remembers that I told her I love her last night. How could she, she was so out of it from the pills she took." Said Heero," Now I don't know how to react to her and she seems so different than when I last saw her."

" Treat her as you did before, just don't threaten to kill her though by the end you may want to. What did she take?"

" Her father's sleeping pills. She downed about eight before I got there and had another thirty ready to go. She also had a knife to slit her wrists with." Said Heero sadly," She was determined to succeed."

" You remember the deal with the sharps lock down right?" said Sally.

" Yeah. She seemed pretty upset about it but I'm gonna keep the lockdown on for a while." Said Heero," Quatra said that she hasn't been sleeping well. She woke him several times wandering the house at odd hours of the night."

" She lost a lot of weight since I last saw her." Said Sally softly," I know that you'll take care of her Heero. I can see it in your eyes, six months ago no one could read them and now, at least about this, it's like looking at an open book. Heero you've just gotta trust your instincts on this and you'll do fine."

" Thanks Sally you've been a big help." Said Heero as the plane rolled to a stop.

" Do you want a blanket to carry her to the car in or are you going to wake her up." Asked Sally.

" I'll take that blanket if it isn't any trouble." Replied Heero unbuckling Relina's seatbelt.

Sally grabbed a blanket off the shelf and helped Heero wrap Relina in it. She watched as he picked her up as he would a child and Relina for all her height weighed as much as a child. He carried to the car and put her in it taking time to buckle her in before he went back to get their bags. When he had the bags all stored in the back seat Sally gave him Relina's CD and he put it in the car player. He was just getting in the car when Wu-Fei came waking up.

" The cabin is all stocked up except for anything fresh you might want. If there's an emergency Nataku is hidden a quarter of a mile north of the cabin. You'll know how to find her." Said Wu-Fei," Take care of her Heero and we'll see you in a month."

" Thanks Wu-Fei."

" Hey it's no problem." Said Wu-Fei," Tell Relina not to worry about the school. We'll take care of it and the students."

" I'll tell her." Said Heero," We've gotta go cause it looks like there's a storm coming up. I don't want to get stuck on the road when it starts." 

" Makes sense. We need to get going too." Said Sally," we don't want to get caught in the storm."

" I'll see you in a month then." Said Heero starting the engine and pulled out.

Heero drove up the mountains for about fifteen minutes before Relina started so cry in her sleep. Not knowing what else to do Heero reached over and gently shook her shoulder. Relina woke with a start and was immediately disoriented by her strange surroundings. Heero noticed her disorientation and spoke to her until she calmed down and woke up completely.

" How long have I been asleep?" she asked wiping tears off her face.

" About forty-five minutes." Replied Heero.

" Why didn't you wake me when the plane landed? It would have been easier."

" You seemed to be exhausted so I let you sleep." Heero answered," Do you feel better now?"

" Yes a little." She replied.

" Were you having a nightmare?" He asked.

" Yes." She answered," I have them a lot but I can never remember what they're about. It's always a vague haze afterwards but I can't go back to sleep."

" Quatra said that you haven't been sleeping much. He said that you would be up at all hours of the night wandering or reading." Heero told her.

" Yeah, I always tried to be quiet but he always heard me." Said Relina," I can't even remember the last time I got a full nights sleep. I didn't like waking Quatra but it was always a little better to have someone to talk to after one of the nightmares. Quatra was always willing to stay up with me but it was wearing on him. I couldn't ask him to do it anymore."

" He really doesn't mind doing things like that." Said Heero," He likes to take care of people and pushes himself to do so."

" Yeah, I remember when Mariah found out that her mother had a heart attack and died. He stayed with her, helped her make arrangements for the funeral, and went to the funeral with her." Said Relina then a sadness filled her voice," He stayed with me when Pagan died. I had forgotten about that, I can't believe that I forgot that."

" Sometimes we are blinded by our own emotions." Said Heero," I threatened to kill you out of fear. I was blinded by it…"

Relina caught the hesitation in Heero's voice," Are we nearly there?"

" Yes it's just around this next bend." Said Heero thankful for the change in subject. A few minutes later they pulled up to a small log cabin and Relina was out of the car before he had even turned it off.

" It's small but it will be okay I think." Commented Relina open the back door and pulling out a couple bags.

" Be careful and don't push yourself too far for a day or so." Warned Heero," The atmosphere is thinner up here your body needs to adjust to it or you'll pass out and wake up with a nasty headache."

" Alright." Said Relina picking up two bags and taking them to the door.

Heero watched her in amazement and he couldn't help but smile. He had known many princesses that would have expected him to carry all of the bags for her and weight on her hand and foot but Relina was different. She depended on no one for anything and in a way it was her downfall. When her life and pride had been shattered there was no one there to help her pick up the pieces. She didn't even know how to ask for help when she needed it. Heero was much the same though he would never admit it. It was that same stubborn pride that had made him such a good Gundam pilot. As he walked to the cabin with the load of bags he watched Relina go back for another load. By the time he had unlocked the door and gone back for the last load she was moving the bags inside. 

" I think I need to sit down for a minute." Said Relina holding her head and sitting in a chair.

" Take slow easy breaths and it will pass in a few moments." Said Heero," I'll get the rest of the bags in."

Relina did as he told her until the dizziness passed then started explore the small cabin. It was smaller on the inside than she had imagined. The Kitchen and dinning room where connected and there was only a half wall divider between the living room and the Kitchen. There was a small bedroom connected to the living room with a pullout wall between them. A large fireplace was on the eastern wall and she decided to start a fire but Heero beat her to it.

" There's a big storm coming up so I'm going to get enough wood to last us a couple of days." Said Heero," You can have the bed I'll sleep on the couch."

" Thank you." Said Relina digging through her bag for a sweater. Finding one, she put it on and went to help him bring in wood.

" Don't strain yourself too much." Warned Heero.

" I'll be careful." She said being careful to take half the normal load she would have.

When they were done getting wood in Heero started making dinner for the two of them. Relina offered to help but he told her that he could do it but she understood when he took out a knife to cut the meat and vegetables. Relina felt like a child being told she was too little to help because she might cut herself. She also felt guilty about what she had done but nothing seemed to ease the numbing pain that she felt in her heart. The pain was all encompassing and nothing she had found had been able to cut through it. Like a vine wrapping its way around a sapling it strangled the will to live out of her. In an attempt to escape her pain she took out a book and began to read. At dinner Relina picked at the stew Heero made but found that once again she wasn't hungry. After dinner she helped Heero do the dish then returned to her book. She spent the rest of the night reading, completely ignoring Heero's presence.

The first couple of days were spent in near silence. Heero would try to start a conversation and no matter how he pursued it, it would die. Relina spent all of her time reading the books that she brought. Heero quickly found himself losing patience with Relina's silence. It was getting them no where but by the end of the third day she was out of books and Heero decided that he had had enough.

" Talk to me Relina." Said Heero sitting on the couch next to her.

" What do you want to talk about?" she asked looking him square in the face. 

" How do you feel?" asked Heero," And for once can you answer me truthfully."

" How do you think I feel?" asked Relina trying to keep a hold on her emotions.

" I don't know Relina that's why I ask every single day and every time you give me the same answer." Replied Heero keeping his temper in check with great effort.

" I don't know how I feel anymore." Cried Relina wrenching her eyes away from his.

" Talk to me and maybe I can help you figure it out."

" Talk… what do you want to hear?" she asked as a sob broke the dam releasing the tears that she didn't know she had," Damn it Heero I don't know." She sobbed," What do you want to hear, that I'm angry because I am. I'm angry at them because they left me alone. They all died and left me alone. You left me alone too." Heero tried to hold her but she hit his chest with her fist," I hate them for leaving me." Heero gently restrained her until she went limp in his arms and he pulled her into his lap, rocking gently," Why does it hurt so much?"

" I honestly don't know Relina," he said rocking and gently stroking her hair," but we're going to get through this I promise."

Heero held Relina stroking her hair, and spoke softly to her while she cried. After a while She stopped crying and her breathing slowed when she fell asleep. He watched her sleep and longed to touch her soft skin but he didn't want to disturb the rest that she got so rarely. Finally temptation got the best of him and he lightly traced her jaw line with his fingertips. _Relina, what am I going to do? I love you so much and your pain is so great. I still don't know what I would do without you or how to help you but I'm going to stay and give you all me heart can give._ Thought Heero reaching over and hitting play on the CD player, _You don't deserve so much pain._ Heero shifted Relina's slight weight into a comfortable position and sat listening to the music and stroking Relina's soft blonde hair.

When Relina woke up she was cold and unsure of where she was. She could feel Heero's arms wrapped around her holding her so that she wouldn't fall if she moved too much. Carefully she grabbed blanket without waking Heero and pulled it over them before falling back into a troubled sleep. She was plagued by nightmares of being locked away alone, cold, and scared in a dark world. She was chased by a monster with her face but it's eyes were empty holes. While she cried in her dreams she cried in the real world waking Heero. Heero gently shook her awake and held her while she cried into his shoulder.

" Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" asked Heero when she stopped crying.

" I keep having this horrible nightmare where I've been locked away. It's dark and I'm alone at first and it's dark but then this monster with my face attacks me." Said Relina softly, Her face was pale," I can't ever escape because I'm trapped in the darkness. I can't believe that I forgot to turn on the CD player."

" Listen Relina, I'm going to try to help you get rid of the nightmares but you've got to talk to me." Said Heero softly," Why do you listen to the music while you sleep?"

" I always listen to it and it helps keep the nightmares away." Replied Relina.

" I'll keep the monsters away until you're stronger but eventually you're gonna have to face it." Said Heero," You get some more sleep Love and I'll keep the monsters away." 

Relina lay her head down on his chest and listened to the sound of his heart. She let its steady rhythm calm her and lull her to sleep. It gave her something in the real world that she could cling to. It was like hanging on the edge of a cliff without a rope but she could feel Heero holding her. His silent strength held her up and she felt safe for the first time in a long time. For the first time in nearly six months Relina truly slept. Heero turned on the CD player and went back to sleep. 

When Relina woke up the windows were covered in frost and she couldn't see more than a couple of feet in the snow. The storm that Heero had said was coming had hit making it nearly impossible to go anywhere. When Relina moved to start a new fire in the fireplace Heero woke up and moved to help her. Once the fire was started Relina went into the Kitchen and started water for tea. When she came back Heero was sitting on the couch waiting for her. As soon as she sat down he wrapped them in the blanket.

" How are you feeling today?" asked Heero softly.

Relina thought about it for a second," A little better actually." 

" I'm glad," said Heero," Are you hungry?"

" Yeah, I am." She replied surprised.

" I'll make breakfast if you want to get a shower."

" Thank you." She said then on impulse," I love you Heero." She said before turning and grabbing her stuff out of her suitcase and rushing into the shower.

" I love you too Relina." Whispered Heero as she shut the door to the bathroom. 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ 

AN- So, Whatcha think? There is more but you can't have it yet, it's not done.


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